So, background story is in order...
I emailed Pastor Roy about a Sunday to honor our graduates. He replied back, a bit indignantly if fact, of honoring those who never seem to grace the sanctuary of the church with their presence ... those who are baptized, may come when a small child and never to return except to be praised and honored on a graduation Sunday. I wrote him back trying to encourage the graciousness of supporting the grandparents and parents of these kids and acknowledging the success of the kids, especially those who do not grace our building with their presence. It's the Christ like thing to do. He wrote back and agreed and voiced some of his frustrations, lack of a youth program and societal priorities of families today over church being two of those frustrations. I then wrote a novella, not literally but close, back in reply. Here then is that reply:
Ted mentioned the same thing about the youth program...Jeff effectively killed it, though not intentionally. A LOT of really bad decisions were made on discerning the leadership of the youth programs. I am as much at fault in its failure as Jeff and the SPRC just flat out hired the wrong person(s) inevitably. And yes, having an active children's ministry lends to involved youth. Parents are to blame for sure because too many set worship and church activities very low on their list of priorities. God seems rarely to be first in the lives of modern day peoples - of their time, their finances, and/or their resources. God rarely gets the best 10% of anything...IF He gets anything at all.
I know you are frustrated. You have been ministering for over 30 years now. Times are different, people are different, community is different now than when you began. And, YOU are different. You are at a stage in your life where you want more freedom to travel, to enjoy your life, your home and your family that is scattered in three states from Massachusetts to Georgia. And your wife near to Afton Mountain, nearer to your only grand baby than you are. You don't get to go see her as often as you would like (your wife AND your grand baby). You should be thinking about retiring at this point in your life; you just don't have the energy left for the battles that exist within a community of believers...let alone one that is now a struggling community. It seems as if you were plopped into our midst under false pretenses and maybe you were but it wasn't deliberate, honest.
I'm not sure how the Bishop's council of D.S.s pulled your name from a hat ... drug you out of sabbatical ... to place you at St. Marks. God alone knows. Maybe what we need is a specific prayer group that prays for God's guidance and for discernment. God has a plan for St. Marks, I do not doubt that ... I just don't know it. And it seems, right now, that none know it. I had heard once that if something is a part of God's plan, then things are made available, doors are opened, and the path is straight and easy. I'm not sure I believe that. Scripture says straight and wide is the path to destruction but crooked and narrow the path to salvation (a horrible paraphrase but you get the point). I had believed the FLC was God ordained because everything was so easy and simple. It wasn't cost prohibitive, we had oodles of man power, and a highly successful building fund. However, many of the functions mentioned have never been realized. The building was designed for volleyball, but no volleyball has been played in there. The showers were installed for the homeless, but they are forbidden to use them. There were going to be community events, fish frys and BBQs and we could serve meals from that "fabulous" kitchen. Now it seems merely to be a "money making" building...how much can be charged for its use? Most of the time it sits dark and empty.
Java Hut was successful in the beginning, Heather Shook did a great job...but it was a doomed venture due to promises made that could not be kept. The preschool, likewise, seemed successful in the beginning. With Samantha's contacts, personality, and her ability to publicize and reach out to parents, we had a waiting list...but it too was a doomed venture due to promises made that were not kept. We even had a Navy Wives group that met at St. Marks monthly, mostly due to Samantha and her Navy connections. And our venture into a contemporary service was not wholly supported from the outset. BUT ... there is yet a LOT of potential. We had relationships with the Cub Scout troop at Gloria Dei, which could have fed into our Boy Scout Troop, we can have that again. We had a Brownie Troop, did you know that? We can have again. We used to have picnics on the lawn and Sunday evening Bible Study with dinner provided. We can have again. We used to work closely with Emmanuel and Hampton Christian, the ministers would even meet weekly, a sort of pastoral support group where they could bounce ideas, vent, share concerns, and pray with and for each other...gone now (and I think Darren really misses those moments of support). But we can have that again.
St. Marks needs a revitalization, that much is true. Sometimes it takes a split within the community, some who are dissatisfied enough that they leave and regroup as their own congregation. Then the parent church REALLY looks at itself, examines who it is and what its principles are and what direction it wants to go in. The parent church has a make-over and is renewed. I'm not saying that will happen at St. Marks. It is what had happened though - St. Marks, the daughter of another. That history I only know a bit of though and what happened to the parent church I don't know, is it 1st downtown? I think it's much more difficult in the Methodist church to splinter off like that. But maybe not...we do after all have Wallace, Fox Hill Central, and 1st Fox Hill that are all ridiculously close to each other.
I know we need to think outside of the box however, when you are in the box it's really hard to get up to the edge to see out of it. St. Marks is a church that is too concerned with itself to even attempt to see over the edge of the box to beyond. The elder people of the church complain because the young don't seem to care about the church. The young don't care about the physical manifestation of the church, nor the doctrine, more the mission and priorities of the church. A building does not a church make...maybe we would be better off without the trappings of the buildings that have to be maintained and upkept year after year, that drain our resources and our finances more and more each year as the building ages. It would be nice to go to the park, set up a mini-console and speakers, plug Brian in, sing praise songs and hand out sack lunches, have a prayer and a short message and then communion and just be in the presence of God, of nature, of community. How expensive is that? Obviously we need a place to prepare the sack lunches, store the chairs and sound equipment but maybe that could even be a trailer...a kitchen equipped trailer. Ah, just dreaming.
I know you are frustrated and tired. I know you feel alone in all of this. You aren't though. You have a flock that you are the shepherd of...give us direction and we will follow, it's what sheep do best. Jeff was VERY good at that...he was manipulative and conniving but he had goals, he had a direction to go, and he was focused. And we followed. It's what sheep do best. And I think we were very successful in one very important way...he reached the broken, hurt, lost, and we nurtured them, at least until they weren't broken, hurt, or lost any more. Most didn't stay...we obviously didn't infuse the love of God into them or they would have desired to stay in relationship with Him. We didn't turn the broken, hurt, lost into disciples...that was our failure. I get that now, I didn't get it then. When I was in college we had a Paul/Timothy program where a more "mature" Christian was paired with a "baby" Christian. The Paul would take the Timothy on and mentor the Timothy in the scriptures, in prayer, in doctrine of the church, and in mission ministry and evangelism. It was very successful. I did that with Suanne Muniz before she moved to Guam, I mentored her in UMW and watch her become a leader...someone that I fully expect will someday become a district and maybe even a conference officer (later now rather than sooner since the Methodist Church in Guam closed). We don't have discipleship training. We don't have a discipleship team. Do we even know what "make disciples for Jesus Christ" means? It's our mission statement but do we do it? Nope...and the sad thing is, we aren't trained to - not by the conference, the district, or within our own churches. Ask ten people "what does it mean to be a disciple" and you will get 10 different responses. Ask ten people "how do you make a disciple" and I betcha you'd see a lot shoulder shrugs.
I know St. Marks is broken, hurt, and lost. How do we heal her? How do you mend a church? How do unite a fragmented community? How do we become one mind, one body, one spirit for the fulfillment of the mission and the great commission of Jesus Christ? And maybe as our shepherd you can give us guidance and direction so we aren't so lost and floundering BUT the LEADERS need to sit down, at a specially called Administrative Council Meeting (which is where all the leaders are SUPPOSED to gather), and come up with the definition of disciple, with how to make disciples, and then come up with concrete and measurable goals, a vision, a focus. And you know what? We won't get young people in on that, heck they aren't even ON Administrative Council because we have failed following the guidelines of the Book of Discipline and making sure at least one member of SPRC/Trustees/Ad Council is a young adult/youth. But...BUT...maybe IF we old grumudgens can become of one mind and set goals and have a purpose for being, then maybe we can get the young people on board to follow...because lambs will follow the sheep, for the most part, when not frolicking with each other in the pasture.
Wow, I didn't mean to write you a novella. I guess, as you can tell, I'm frustrated as well. But I feel as if YOU are ready to give up on St. Marks, throw away the oars, and let go of the helm. I'm not there yet. There IS hope, there is ALWAYS hope. NOTHING is impossible and as I said somewhere way up above God DOES have a plan for us!
Ok, my vent is done now too.
Hope I haven't offended you, hope that you know that I am on your side, I have got your back and as a leader I am expecting to be called upon to help you. You are NOT in this alone, a lone shepherd watching over his flock...you do have some rams and strong ewes to help lead the rest of the sheep. Equip us, train us, use us.
meMonica
I know you are frustrated. You have been ministering for over 30 years now. Times are different, people are different, community is different now than when you began. And, YOU are different. You are at a stage in your life where you want more freedom to travel, to enjoy your life, your home and your family that is scattered in three states from Massachusetts to Georgia. And your wife near to Afton Mountain, nearer to your only grand baby than you are. You don't get to go see her as often as you would like (your wife AND your grand baby). You should be thinking about retiring at this point in your life; you just don't have the energy left for the battles that exist within a community of believers...let alone one that is now a struggling community. It seems as if you were plopped into our midst under false pretenses and maybe you were but it wasn't deliberate, honest.
I'm not sure how the Bishop's council of D.S.s pulled your name from a hat ... drug you out of sabbatical ... to place you at St. Marks. God alone knows. Maybe what we need is a specific prayer group that prays for God's guidance and for discernment. God has a plan for St. Marks, I do not doubt that ... I just don't know it. And it seems, right now, that none know it. I had heard once that if something is a part of God's plan, then things are made available, doors are opened, and the path is straight and easy. I'm not sure I believe that. Scripture says straight and wide is the path to destruction but crooked and narrow the path to salvation (a horrible paraphrase but you get the point). I had believed the FLC was God ordained because everything was so easy and simple. It wasn't cost prohibitive, we had oodles of man power, and a highly successful building fund. However, many of the functions mentioned have never been realized. The building was designed for volleyball, but no volleyball has been played in there. The showers were installed for the homeless, but they are forbidden to use them. There were going to be community events, fish frys and BBQs and we could serve meals from that "fabulous" kitchen. Now it seems merely to be a "money making" building...how much can be charged for its use? Most of the time it sits dark and empty.
Java Hut was successful in the beginning, Heather Shook did a great job...but it was a doomed venture due to promises made that could not be kept. The preschool, likewise, seemed successful in the beginning. With Samantha's contacts, personality, and her ability to publicize and reach out to parents, we had a waiting list...but it too was a doomed venture due to promises made that were not kept. We even had a Navy Wives group that met at St. Marks monthly, mostly due to Samantha and her Navy connections. And our venture into a contemporary service was not wholly supported from the outset. BUT ... there is yet a LOT of potential. We had relationships with the Cub Scout troop at Gloria Dei, which could have fed into our Boy Scout Troop, we can have that again. We had a Brownie Troop, did you know that? We can have again. We used to have picnics on the lawn and Sunday evening Bible Study with dinner provided. We can have again. We used to work closely with Emmanuel and Hampton Christian, the ministers would even meet weekly, a sort of pastoral support group where they could bounce ideas, vent, share concerns, and pray with and for each other...gone now (and I think Darren really misses those moments of support). But we can have that again.
St. Marks needs a revitalization, that much is true. Sometimes it takes a split within the community, some who are dissatisfied enough that they leave and regroup as their own congregation. Then the parent church REALLY looks at itself, examines who it is and what its principles are and what direction it wants to go in. The parent church has a make-over and is renewed. I'm not saying that will happen at St. Marks. It is what had happened though - St. Marks, the daughter of another. That history I only know a bit of though and what happened to the parent church I don't know, is it 1st downtown? I think it's much more difficult in the Methodist church to splinter off like that. But maybe not...we do after all have Wallace, Fox Hill Central, and 1st Fox Hill that are all ridiculously close to each other.
I know we need to think outside of the box however, when you are in the box it's really hard to get up to the edge to see out of it. St. Marks is a church that is too concerned with itself to even attempt to see over the edge of the box to beyond. The elder people of the church complain because the young don't seem to care about the church. The young don't care about the physical manifestation of the church, nor the doctrine, more the mission and priorities of the church. A building does not a church make...maybe we would be better off without the trappings of the buildings that have to be maintained and upkept year after year, that drain our resources and our finances more and more each year as the building ages. It would be nice to go to the park, set up a mini-console and speakers, plug Brian in, sing praise songs and hand out sack lunches, have a prayer and a short message and then communion and just be in the presence of God, of nature, of community. How expensive is that? Obviously we need a place to prepare the sack lunches, store the chairs and sound equipment but maybe that could even be a trailer...a kitchen equipped trailer. Ah, just dreaming.
I know you are frustrated and tired. I know you feel alone in all of this. You aren't though. You have a flock that you are the shepherd of...give us direction and we will follow, it's what sheep do best. Jeff was VERY good at that...he was manipulative and conniving but he had goals, he had a direction to go, and he was focused. And we followed. It's what sheep do best. And I think we were very successful in one very important way...he reached the broken, hurt, lost, and we nurtured them, at least until they weren't broken, hurt, or lost any more. Most didn't stay...we obviously didn't infuse the love of God into them or they would have desired to stay in relationship with Him. We didn't turn the broken, hurt, lost into disciples...that was our failure. I get that now, I didn't get it then. When I was in college we had a Paul/Timothy program where a more "mature" Christian was paired with a "baby" Christian. The Paul would take the Timothy on and mentor the Timothy in the scriptures, in prayer, in doctrine of the church, and in mission ministry and evangelism. It was very successful. I did that with Suanne Muniz before she moved to Guam, I mentored her in UMW and watch her become a leader...someone that I fully expect will someday become a district and maybe even a conference officer (later now rather than sooner since the Methodist Church in Guam closed). We don't have discipleship training. We don't have a discipleship team. Do we even know what "make disciples for Jesus Christ" means? It's our mission statement but do we do it? Nope...and the sad thing is, we aren't trained to - not by the conference, the district, or within our own churches. Ask ten people "what does it mean to be a disciple" and you will get 10 different responses. Ask ten people "how do you make a disciple" and I betcha you'd see a lot shoulder shrugs.
I know St. Marks is broken, hurt, and lost. How do we heal her? How do you mend a church? How do unite a fragmented community? How do we become one mind, one body, one spirit for the fulfillment of the mission and the great commission of Jesus Christ? And maybe as our shepherd you can give us guidance and direction so we aren't so lost and floundering BUT the LEADERS need to sit down, at a specially called Administrative Council Meeting (which is where all the leaders are SUPPOSED to gather), and come up with the definition of disciple, with how to make disciples, and then come up with concrete and measurable goals, a vision, a focus. And you know what? We won't get young people in on that, heck they aren't even ON Administrative Council because we have failed following the guidelines of the Book of Discipline and making sure at least one member of SPRC/Trustees/Ad Council is a young adult/youth. But...BUT...maybe IF we old grumudgens can become of one mind and set goals and have a purpose for being, then maybe we can get the young people on board to follow...because lambs will follow the sheep, for the most part, when not frolicking with each other in the pasture.
Wow, I didn't mean to write you a novella. I guess, as you can tell, I'm frustrated as well. But I feel as if YOU are ready to give up on St. Marks, throw away the oars, and let go of the helm. I'm not there yet. There IS hope, there is ALWAYS hope. NOTHING is impossible and as I said somewhere way up above God DOES have a plan for us!
Ok, my vent is done now too.
Hope I haven't offended you, hope that you know that I am on your side, I have got your back and as a leader I am expecting to be called upon to help you. You are NOT in this alone, a lone shepherd watching over his flock...you do have some rams and strong ewes to help lead the rest of the sheep. Equip us, train us, use us.
meMonica
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