Tuesday, July 3rd
based on the latest adventures of McCoy, my mother-in-law's new puppy.
That Darn Dog
Well, he did it again. That darn dog.
Returned home after being away for only four hours and he’s gone an’ chewed up
the bottom of the couch, done pulled out near all the stuffin’ as well. That
darn dog. So I took him by the neck and drug him to the couch and paddled his
b’hind but good and then tossed him on outside. That darn dog. Stuffed the
white billowy stuffin’ right on back inside the dern ole’ couch and then I commenced sewin’ on it when
I heard the gosh awfullest yowlin’ comin’ from the back yard. That darn dog.
He weren’t neven supposed ta be my dog in
the first place. He was fine an’ happy livin’ over there Texas way. When I first
got the phone call that my son’s dog done gone an’ had a litter of pups I was a
listenin’ and talkin’ with joy over their good will. Then he asked would I want
one? Well heck no, I done got mah Teddy here and them two cats. What would I
want with’n another pup? But then my daughter what lives up the road from me
called me up an’ said ‘Ma, Riley sure would like ta have a pup. Course Matt
won’t hear nothin’ of us havin’ a dog. Can you bring one o’them pups back wit’
ya and keep him at yer house ‘til we gets Matt talked into havin’ him?’ Well
I’ma sucker fer mah gran’children. I called mah son over there in Texas and
told him to pick out a pup fer me and I’d fly over there an’ get him when I
come ta visit my newest great-gran’babe. I was assured that this here pup would
stay small and while he was a feisty thing he was workin’ hard on his trainin’.
I shoulda listened to my other
daughter-in-law what told me ‘No, ma, ya don’ need a nother dog!’ As I said,
I’ma sucker fer mah gran’children.
So I get this here pup home; he’s little as
can be, an’ pretty calm little thing right at first. Didn’ do much other than
sleep and eat and sleep and pee and eat and poop. ‘Course that was right there
in mah livin’ room on the carpet that he’d done did all that. That darn dog.
But then when he got himself acclimated to mah house he became all feisty and
began a chewin’ up on everythin’ he could wrap his mouth around. Why he even
devoured mah good house slippers. That darn dog. An’ he eats faster’n a rocket ship. I gots ta
keep him distracted so poor ole’ Teddy cans finish up his meal. Them cats isn’t
none too happy ta have the pup in the house. He gets ta barkin’ at ‘em and they
gets ta hissin’ at him. He’s had his nose swiped at quite a time or two
which I can sure tell ya true ta that one.
Once though, he lit in ta Isis, the older of the two cats, and I thought he was
goin’ tear her head off. I yanked him hard ‘til he choked and coughed fer a
good twenty minutes or so after that one. That darn dog.
An’ a course mah daughter’s husband, Matt,
won’t have nothin’ ta do with the pup so here he still is at mah house. I’ma guessin’
he’s mah dog now. He aren’t so little no more, he’s a growin’ every single day
and he now towers over mah Teddy. Mah Teddy comes up about half a calf high on
my leg but the pup, well he’s up ta mah knee already, an’ he’s only five months
old. So much fer bein’ small. That darn pup. He aren’t nothin’ what my son said
he’d be. He aren’t small, he aren’t house broke, and he aren’t trained niether,
no sir not one little bit. I’d take him back ta Texas ‘cept fer the cost to fly
him out there. Oh an’ the dumb pup has kinda grown on me. Yep. That darn dog.
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