Contemporary Stations - Station One, the Garden of Gethsemane

Agony and desperation, that is what Christ felt on that final night of freedom. The Passover supper was long over, the "Last Supper" that he would share with his disciples, apostles, and friends. Now at last he comes to the Garden of Gethsemane with his closest companions where the weight of what is to come lays upon his shoulders like an elephant. Jesus is desperate ... in that moment he is completely and utterly human. He does not want to suffer, he does not want to die. Jesus is in agony and he cries out to his Father God, "Please take this cup from me!!"

The modern Jesus Christ Superstar captures the full expression of this desperate cry from the heart; I find that my heart agonizes with him. It is in that moment of desperation that I find I truly connect with Christ as the one so desperate and so longing for escape. There are a great many times when I am filled with that much agony and desperation - times when all I can do is weep for words fail me. Christ, though, finds some comfort from his heavenly Father God. Through his furtive pleas for release from the cup about to befall him Christ sacrifices himself and surrenders his will to God. I am not there. In my darkest hours of desperation I find myself defeated and exhausted but not willing to lay it before God and say "Your will Father, not my own."

Father God, I know that you are there - just as you were when your son Jesus Christ cried out to you in agony and desperation - waiting for me to concede and surrender. I know that your arms await me and long to comfort me. Christ, help me to endure as you did that night; help me to surrender my will as you did that night. Father God ... I know that I need to surrender my will to yours, be patient with this foolish daughter.